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No, I still haven't figured out the whole job/money thing yet.
But I'm tired of thinking about it.
I'll keep you posted when some solution presents itself....enough bitching about it already.
I had a WTF moment with my wonderful middle child yesterday.
JM had been outside playing all day (as they all were), since it's FINALLY warming up and it was gorgeous out.
I had to call them in earlier than they wanted, due to it being a school night, etc....
So after being greeted with the standard "AW MOM's!!" they picked up everything outside and started to come in.
JM informs me he can't find his shoe.
Not both shoes, mind you....he was wearing one.
Couldn't find the other one.
So, thinking this shouldn't be too tough to sort out, I start asking....
"Where did you last see it?"
His response?
"I don't know."
I continue.
"Well, why aren't you wearing it?"
"I don't know."
*sigh*
"Were you playing with it?"
"No, [his friend] H was throwing it."
"Why was he doing that??"
"I don't know."
*heavy sigh*
"Where was H throwing it?"
....all together now.....
"I don't know."
By now, my frustration level reached the point of not being able to speak anymore.
"JUST GET OUT THERE AND FIND IT!!"
Of course, it's now late, dark, and there's rain on the way, so looking in the morning is out.
And yes, these are his only shoes.
Fortunately, my oldest son found it (once I enlisted him to the search crew), which was pretty damn funny considering he had no idea where JM last had it either.
Where was it?
Under the neighbor's bush, of course.
Now, Bill Cosby did the all-time greatest bit about kids and their "I don't knows," and I won't attempt to revisit that here.
But put that aside for a moment: HOW does an otherwise smart kid NOT KNOW
- why the shoe came off his foot
- where it was last seen
- why H was throwing it
- where H was throwing it
I mean, if he saw H throwing it, why didn't he know WHERE that was taking place?
Am I overthinking this?
JN told me I had to let it go, otherwise my head was likely to explode.
And he was right.
And I did.
But still....HOW does one not know when/where/why one's shoe came off....
And if one sees one's friend playing with it....
How does one not know WHERE said friend was playing with it??....
Okay, I better really let it go for good.
My head's starting to hurt.
Is this normal behavior for a 7-year-old, or is mine just....special?
Still feeling crappy.
Is it depression?
I don't think so....been down that road before, and this isn't nearly that bad.
It's not like I'm UNABLE to feel good.
I feel good at times every day, and I know I'm still one of the luckiest people around.
But things seem kinda stuck.
Our money situtaion is really weighing on me, all the time.
Every. Damn. Day.
JN and I haven't had time to sit down and figure out how or when I'm gonna work, so that's still hanging over my head, unresolved.
Plus, he and I seem perpetually stuck in what I like (?) to call "roommate mode."
We're living like roommates....we pass each other in the morning and evening, chat about our day and other small talk....
We kiss each other hi and goodbye, and that's about it.
It's not anyone's fault -- he's killing himself at work right now, putting in lots of hours as things get reorganized there.
And I'm just....stuck.
I feel like nothing I'm doing right now is good enough.
Like I'm constantly disappointing JN and shortchanging the boys.
The weather hasn't helped -- it's been windy, crappy and cold for a couple weeks now.
Things are starting to warm up (hopefully) now, so that might help.
So would hitting the lottery.
Having my MIL here didn't help either.
She took JA and I out for a Chinese buffet lunch on Friday, which was AWESOME.
Other than that, it just would have been nice if she wasn't here.
I felt so exhausted, trying to play hostess and keep things running along.
It's just easier when there's no one extra to have to wait on, ya know?
I barely keep up with my normal load....throwing a parent on top of it all doesn't help in the confidence-boosting/sanity department.
And she's a really great houseguest -- out of our 6 parents, she is definitely the easiest and best.
I'm just not right in the head right now, I guess.
As usual, it's me, noone else.
*sigh*
JN and I have to have the work conversation this week, so maybe next time I'll at least have some direction in that area, which will either make me feel better or worse.
No idea which yet.
It would also help if the Cubbies could LOOK DECENT already!
Damn. :(
And my mood has not improved.
It's been up and down, and I haven't been a depressed bitch for a solid week, but things are still bleak.
No idea how we're gonna get outta this money trap....
I had resigned myself to doing some kind of day care during the day, but then it occurred to me Summer will be here soon.
Not judging by the crappy cold weather, mind you, but by the calendar.
(We got 2 inches of snow on Saturday, and it's been below 40 for a week!)
I'd just get into the swing of working someplace, and SJ and JM would finish school.
THEN WHAT??
I'd never be able to afford even discounted care for all three of them (JA alone was gonna be tough), so I think I'm stuck with nights.
I figure I gotta work at least 20 hours a week to make it worthwhile, so if I want my weekends free, that's gotta be 4 hours a night.
When is that gonna happen?
JN is rarely home before 6:00, so I'm thinking 7:00 would be the earliest I could commit to being somewhere regularly.
That means I'm getting home from work around 11:30 (at the earliest), my normal bedtime.
Home from work at 11:30 means I won't be in bed until 12:30 or so, which means a not-so-nice Mommy for JA the next day.
Even if JN could promise to be home so I could get somewhere by 6:00, I'm not home until 10:30 (at the earliest)....forget any time spent together.
He's been keeping a similar schedule this past week since things at work got restructured, but that should be done now.
As much as last week sucked, it was only temporary....
We'd be doing it every day, every week.
*sigh*
My head hurts.
See why I haven't been here?
Nothing to do but bitch and whine.
JN's talking about joining a band again, which would be great.
He'd enjoy it, time spent apart would be minimal (a couple times a week), and the money would be the same (or better) as what I'd pull in twice as many hours.
We need some kind of solution soon.
And to cap it all off, my MIL is coming this week! Yay.
The original plan was for my MIL & FIL to be here Friday lunch through Sunday morning (they wanna see SJ's final choir concert Friday night).
A short, sweet visit -- very painless.
Well, now my FIL can't come, which means two new wrinkles that suck:
- My MIL doesn't drive herself, so we gotta take her to and from the train, of which the nearest station is 1&1/2 hours south of us. ONE WAY. I thought JN was gonna pick her up, but he now says he can't, so I'm stuck doing it on Wednesday. Which means I gotta make arrangements for SJ and JM to go home from school with someone else, I lose a whole day I thought I had to prepare for her visit, and it's gonna be near impossible to make dinner, do the boys' homework and get them to bed at a reasonable time after we get back. GREAT!
- Which brings me to the next point....she's decided to extend her visit. Why stay for just a weekend when you can stay for 5 days?!? She's now arriving Wednesday afternoon, and leaving Sunday afternoon. Despite the obvious "oh great, my MIL will be here even longer!" thing, I'm wondering what the heck we're gonna do all day Thursday and Friday while the boys are in school and JN is at work. I normally get things done around here and mess around a little on the computer -- THAT ain't gonna happen. I've gotta play hostess. I'm lost on this one. (And the ultimate capper....we were thinking we might be able to get out for a night while she's here and get raunchy [which we *badly* need to do], but I'll be getting my period the day she arrives. Life is just dumping on us and laughing at this point.)
So all in all, I'm really looking forward to this, can you tell??
Her visit is well-timed too, with no money to speak of....should be loads of fun.
I do apologize -- I said I'd be in better spirits when I came back, and here I am, shitting all over you again.
But I wanted to let you know I'm alive (mostly), and probably won't have time to be here over the next week....I'm spending these next two days gutting the house to the best of my ability.
At least the Cubs took 2 of 3 from the Brewers this weekend -- that was SWEET.
And Easter yesterday was nice....we had a great egg-hunt here and a nice day at my mom's.
But WOW, is the rest of this week gonna suck.
Spring Break is ending today, and reality is crashing back in with a vengeance (that 6:15 alarm tomorrow morning is gonna be PAINFUL).
I will really try to have something better to talk about next time....
I really will.
Dammit.
Both teams lost, knocking us outta both pools.
So, the money I was hoping would help us out is not there.
Sucks.
I'd almost rather have never been in the running for either pool, instead of winning/in it up until the very end.
Feels like my heart got ripped out.
This is why I don't gamble regularly, and would never be able to....
Too little chance for payoff, too great of a chance of crushing defeat.
Fuck!
Partly because of this (and partly because we're just plain screwed financially in general), I may have to find work.
HOW and WHEN this is gonna happen, I have no idea.
If I do something at night, I won't be able to make dinner, JN and I would *never* spend time together anymore, and I'd always be getting to bed late (making me a bear the next day for poor JA).
If I just did weekends, I wouldn't make enough money to help our situation much at all.
I can't do anything during the day since JA is still home, other than work at a day care (where all my money would go to pay for JA's care and he may hate it), or bring a kid into our home (which I've never heard good things about -- parents abuse the hours, you can never take days off, their kids come sick, etc.)....
Every option is either impossible or sucks.
I have no idea what I'm gonna do, but I gotta look around this week and see what I can find.
And even IF (big if) I find something, I don't know if I'd even make enough to get us above water every month.
I could kill myself and everything around here could suffer, and we'd STILL be short every month.
This should be interesting.
What bothers me the most about it is I feel like I'm screwing JA over.
SJ and JM had me at home and not working when they were in preschool.
Why should JA get the short end of the deal?
Just because he's the youngest?
And he's the one that seems to need me home the most, since he's a little behind the other kids with his fine motor skills, writing his name, etc.
Everything about this sucks....kept me up last night worrying about it, and I had one wacky dream about it too.
I hope something presents itself as a reasonable solution soon.
'Cause I just don't see one.
Today was supposed to be a good day -- we're on Spring Break, I was down a pound on the scale this morning, and today is Cubbies' Opening Day!
The day I've waiting months for!!
And I am excited to see them kick it all off in an hour and a half....
But this has got me down, big time.
I find myself wondering if I'll even be able to watch games this year if I'm working....
My days are gonna be way fuller and I'm gonna be way more tired.
Is that enough bitching, pissing and moaning for ya?
HOW do working moms do it and deal with the guilt?
I have no clue.
Sorry....I'll try to be more sunshiney next time.
GO CUBBIES!!!!
Today is the first official day of Spring Break!
Is it wrong I tend to get more excited than the boys do about it?
Really seems like it *should* be the other way around....
Of course, the weather isn't gonna be as nice as it was last week, but that's life in the Midwest for ya.
Dammit.
Sucks when I can't have my cake AND eat it too, ya know?
The Final Four is tomorrow, and it will either MAKE MY MONTH or crush me like a grape.
I need Georgetown and UCLA to win (both #2's, playing #1's).
It will either be my personal April Fool's weekend (as I go down in flames), or the rest of the country's (for picking both #1's to win).
I fear it will be the former....I can almost hear Destiny's "MUUAAHHH!!" ringing in my head as I came *this* close to utter, shameless, bonafide, balls-out victory.
*sigh*
I did a Girls Night Out (work group) last night, which was really nice -- only the 3 of us, which I prefer.
I can really be myself with L & L (or as close to myself as I can be surrounded by conservative people who believe the opposite I do about so many things).
I like it when H is there too....but I can do without T & C.
They both seem have a rod firmly wedged up their asses, and though the time with them is still enjoyable, seeing their sour pusses across the table can be a bit dampening on the spirit of things.
Why can't everyone just be like ME?
Would make life so much easier (for me anyway, which -- let's face it -- IS all that matters.)
It should be a while before I see either Girls group again soon (work or school)....which is probably a good thing.
The restaurant L & L chose last night wasn't good on my wallet or waistline.
But it was deadly good on my tastebuds....ooooh baby!
An Italian Bistro with homemade pastas, breads and sauces....2-for-1 glasses of sangria....and all pasta dishes are bottomless!
That should hold me for a while.
Happy Spring Break!!
(I would wish you a Happy Spring, but I refuse to do that when Spring is still off in the distance for a while yet up here....yeah, I'm jealous and spiteful like that.)
One of the things that amazes me the most about kids is how the same two people can have such different kids.
We have the same genes....we raise them in (mostly) the same way....they have (pretty much) the same life experiences....
Yet they're total opposites!
How is that possible?
I just got a crash course in this phenomenon over the past 24 hours.
SJ (10) has always been incredibly smart, mature and eager to please.
He's in his school's choir, and I went to see their spring concert today.
Although he's generally a quiet, reserved kid, something happens to him when he gets onstage.
The kid just shines, and blows me away.
It's so much fun to watch him, especially since most of the other kids are doing the I'm-too-cool-to-do-the-full-movements thing.
I love watching him bloom into whatever in the word he's gonna be....no clue yet.
And then we have JM (7).
Also incredibly smart, sweet, and eager to please....but with a mischievous side as well.
Where SJ would rather DIE than get caught breaking the rules, JM loves to try to get away with as much as he can.
Just yesterday, ANOTHER call from the principal about something JM did in school.
(I'm not overly-impressed with her as principal, and I feel like she singles him out sometimes, but I digress.)
THIS time, he was flicking another boy's ears while he was trying to use the urinal.
Only JM could come up with this one.
He spent another recess in her office, filling out another "think" form about his actions.
At what point is this just normal boy behavior, and at what point do we get worried?
Since SJ is our only experience (and not a typical one by any means), I have no idea.
So seeing the principal at the school today was weird....I felt both pride with SJ's performance today and shame at JM's behavior yesterday.
It came out in a stilted, "Hey!"
Does every parent go through this?
I don't even wanna think about what JA (4) is gonna do.
He's behind the other kids in his preschool class with basic skills (another new thing for us), and is the wildest one of them all.
*sigh*
I get tired just thinking about it.
WILL YOU CHILDREN JUST STAY IN CONVENIENT, IDENTICAL, PREDETERMINED MOLDS FOR ME PLEASE, SO I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT AND I CAN KEEP UP??
Thank you.
(And monkeys might fly outta my butt....)
Though the teams I like/pull for have not advanced to the Final Four, I am a potentially VERY happy camper.
JN and I are entered in two pools -- one through JN's work, and a national one through my nephew's baseball team fundraiser.
JN's work entry is a bracket I filled out; the other one consists of randomly-assigned teams.
I'm kicking tall ass at both!!
With JN's work bracket, I'm currently in 5th place -- but if my teams win out and Georgetown wins it all (how's that for a ballsy pick?), I'm guaranteed a tie for first place!
Then it would come down to total points scored in the championship game....I have 124, the other guy has 154.
Considering the guy I'd be tied with is a total dick, this would be way sweeter than just the 100+ bucks we'd pocket.
The other pool is crazier -- as of right now, we're winning the grand prize!!
This is a NATIONAL pool, so the fact that WE are winning right now is insane enough.
What really knocks me over is the amount of the grand prize: 1000 big ones!!
Yeah, that would make life just a bit easier right now.
The problem here is we have to hope UCLA (the only team we have left) goes all the way and scores a LOTTA points....PLUS we have to hope the tickets close to us don't have any teams left.
We can't view the other tickets, so we just have to cross our fingers and hope.
We're not nearly ready to count the money yet, but just being this close is SWEET.
And no, there's no bucks for second place -- you gotta win it all.
The odds? Not good.
But oh, mama, it's fun to think about.
I don't think there's any way we could win both (since one needs Georgetown to win and one needs UCLA), but I'll gladly give up the bragging rights at JN's work in exchange for 1000 bucks.
I'm humble like that.
In other good news, I managed to lose 1.4 pounds last week, so YAY!
(Love that digital scale.)
Gotta keep my ass in gear....I just realized I have 434 days until my goal target date of 6/1/08.
(Yes, I'm counting down.)
No more slacking!
Nothing for me to bitch about today?
Strange.
Enjoy it while it lasts! :)
I'm sure that will change pretty quick....
7 days, 2 hours and 40 minutes until my Cubbies Opening Day!!
WOO HOO!!!!
At the urging of my loyal readers (make that "reader" -- thanks Kathie!), I've returned from the depths of the winter blahs.
Yes, today is officially the first day of spring, which is completely meaningless up here.
"First day of spring," my ass.
March 21st here simply means we're seeing Warm Weather's tailights, way off in the distance, for the first time since November....which IS nice.
But it sucks knowing the rest of the world (i.e., back home in IL) is actually catching up to Warm Weather and preparing to climb into the back seat for the duration.
Yes, woe is me, blah, blah, de-fucking-blah.
I get it, I'll stop whining now.
I'm getting back onto the healthy horse yet again in a (vain?) attempt to lose 77 pounds by June 1st of next year.
Possible? Yes.
Plausible? Hmmm....
I'm working on that one.
But I've eaten well for exactly 1&1/2 days in a row, and exercised for exactly....well, today.
WHOOPIE!!
It's a start.
My NCAA bracket got busted good in the second round, losing 3 of my Elite Eight teams.
(Damn you, Texas, Louisville and Wisconsin!!)
I'll still have my ass firmly planted in front of the TV this weekend....
The NCAA tournament is probably the best event in all of sports, and yes, I'm counting the Super Bowl.
(And no, I'm not just saying that because my Bears got their asses kicked.)
It holds more excitement, more twists and turns, more drama than anything known to man.
I love every single second of it.
Filling out a bracket only adds to it all.
JN's bracket is still alive, so maybe we can win some bucks after all.
But in order for that to happen, North Carolina's gotta win it all.
Which means I gotta pull for North Carolina?
Not sure if I can pull the trigger on that one yet.
Maybe I can get away with yelling, "GO, MONEY!" at the TV.
Hmmm....might not be quite the same.
It's so ridiculous that I have ANOTHER cold....I'm not even sure I was totally over the last one.
But it started yesterday -- sinus headache, congestion, a slight cough.
JA started with it a couple days ago, so I guess I'm not surprised, really.
But MAN, has it gotten old already.
I knew when we had a mild December and January, the other shoe would drop, and drop HARD.
February was brutally cold, and now that's finally done, we're getting hammered with snow.
Over the weekend, we got somewhere around 10 inches of snow, which was WET and HEAVY AS HELL to shovel.
Now that we've just recovered from that, here comes another storm, starting tonight....
At this point, they're predicting 6-10 inches for our area, but that's not even the best part.
Along with that snow will be lots of freezing rain and sleet -- temps are supposed to hover around 32 all day, resulting in snow changing to sleet, changing back again, etc....ALL DAMN DAY.
And just for kicks, we'll be getting high winds too.
Yes, I know I'm bitching.
And yes, I know this is friggin God's country, and this shit happens in winter.
And yes, I also know we've had generally mild winters the last few years.
Blah blah blah.
IT STILL SUCKS!!
My only hope is for schools to be closed tomorrow so I don't have to go out in it.
BUT, I'm thinking that won't happen, with my luck.
I'm SO looking forward to being out in it AND having to shovel all the crap as well, I just can't even tell you.
As far as the Oscars went, I think it was good, in general.
I did okay on my pools -- missed a few, but got a couple upsets.
I called Alan Arkin upsetting Eddie Murphy....but did ANYONE see Melissa Etheridge upsetting all 3 "Dreamgirls" songs??
That was fucking AWESOME!
There were a couple things that pissed me off though (are you surprised?)...
- STOP cutting people's speeches off so fast!! This is their moment, the one they've been dreaming of their whole lives -- they deserve a good 2 minutes, if they want it, even if their award isn't one of the "big" ones. They'll give the Best Actor winner all day, but they'll cut off the Editing guy at 30 seconds....pathetic and shameful. Either make it a show to truly celebrate everyone, their accomplishments and their movies, or make it a fast-paced show more palatable to the viewing audience -- you can't have it both ways. In my opinion, if we've sat through everything, we'll sit for a few more minutes tacked onto the show for people's speeches....don't start playing the music until AT LEAST 1:30 into it, please.
- Why the big push for foreign films this year? Don't they already have awards for those? If the Oscar people are worried about the show going too long, don't spend 10 minutes honoring a guy who doesn't even speak English (watching Clint Eastwood translate for him was painful). I hate to sound small-minded (but I will anyway), but this is an American show and an American institution....give the foreigners a nod (with their own category, which is plenty), and move on.
- Why start it so late in the day? If you know it's gonna be long (which it ALWAYS is), start it earlier....I can't even imagine how the people in the Eastern time zone deal with it. Move it up an hour, and everyone will be happier -- the people on the West Coast will cope and adjust.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
Let's hope this storm isn't as bad as they're predicting....false warnings are good with me.
Cry wolf all you want, weather prognosticators!
I get excited over the dumbest things sometimes.
Why do I get so freaked over the Oscars?
No clue.
But it's like Super Bowl, Part II for me -- lots of junk food, cancel any and all plans for the day, because I'm CAMPED in front of the TV all damn day!
I gotta watch all the arrivals, all the pre-show crap....it's incredibly silly.
Normally, knowing you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
Not in this case for me, apparently -- I know it's ridiculous, but I can't HELP myself!
And it's not like I've seen all the movies....I've only seen a few, like most years.
It's just the spectacle of it all, and I'm an awards show junkie anyway.
But nothing's like the Oscars for me.
I blame my mom, for getting me so celebrity-obsessed at such a young age.
I hope I'm not doing that to my boys.
And to JN, all I can say is thank you for putting up with me....and I'm really sorry.
We just refinanced the house AGAIN yesterday, but we were able to pay off almost all the evil credit cards along with it, so I'm encouraged.
It's gonna cost us about $100 extra out-of-pocket, which we should be able to handle in a few months....but it ain't gonna be easy getting there.
But as long as we get there okay, we should be sitting in much better shape in general.
Damn those credit cards!
If we can live like we don't have them and NEVER use them again, we'll be okay.
I finished our taxes yesterday too, and we'll be getting a little bigger refund than I thought, which will help.
I'm so SICK of dealing with money anymore....thinking about it, worrying about it, planning for it, planning around it.
It's like half of my day, every day.
I sometimes wonder: If we hit the lottery (like I've been praying for years now), what would I do with myself? What would occupy my thoughts/time/energy?
I'd probably obsess about JN and the boys, which wouldn't be much fun for anyone.
Maybe it's a good thing we stay poor, huh?
Happy Oscar weekend!
I have no predictions, but there are three things I'm really pulling for:
- Jennifer Hudson was un-fucking-believable in "Dreamgirls." I was kinda skeptical heading into the movie (someone else's suggestion for Girls Night Out), and there were times in the movie I thought really dragged, though it was good. But when she belted out "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," I sat there and cried in my seat, in spite of myself. She needs to win on that one song/scene alone.
- Martin Scorsese needs to win this year. My God, just LOOK at the man's work....he really should have won a few times over by now. This is beyond being the Susan Lucci of the Oscars; he just flat-out deserves it, and I didn't even see "The Departed." I just know. I love you Clint Eastwood, but *enough* already.
- "Little Miss Sunshine" needs to win EVERYTHING it's up for!! I haven't seen another movie like it in years -- maybe ever. It's one of those rare movies that has everything in it....it surprises you, it touches you, it makes you laugh, it makes you cringe. The story is great, the writing is incredible, and the acting is excellent. If you haven't seen it yet, GO as soon as you possibly can.
Well, there you have it.
Nothing like an uneducated, biased list of worthless opinions come Oscar time, right?
And yes, I'll be right there with you, criticizing everyone's clothes/hair/jewelry/shoes/purses -- it's even more fun when you know NOTHING about fashion, like me!
Enjoy!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while (Kathie, you're too sweet to notice!), but February has always been the toughest month of the year for me.
Sick of winter, holidays are over, spring's not even remotely in sight, football's over, REALLY sick of winter, tired of the school routine, fuckin' FRIED on the cold, waiting for baseball....
Did I mention I get tired of winter?
February was always rough in Illinois, but up here, it's damn brutal.
In Illinois, the thaw comes in late March....here, you're lucky if the snow is gone by late April. You can't even plant flowers until Memorial Day, if you want them to make it.
The first year we lived here, I was ready to jump out a window as months rolled by, with no warm-up.
Now, I accept it, but it's never easy.
At least in March, I get the NCAA basketball tournament....and Spring Training starts up.
March holds some hope.
February is just one long, gray stretch of cold-ass shit.
And this year, it's been the coldest February in years, which has quadrupled the misery.
At least we're supposed to be seasonal this week, so that should help.
(I'm sorry, but when "seasonal" for up here seems warm, that's just WRONG.)
Just so....very....blah.
We were at my inlaws' over the weekend, which was nice.
God bless my MIL, she actually kept a Xmas tree up and played Xmas music for opening presents!
I hope I'm half the Grandma/MIL she is when I get there.
My FIL didn't drive me *too* nuts this time either, which was a bonus.
They'll be coming our way right after Easter, to see one of SJ's choir concerts.
It looks to be a short stay (only 2 days), which should make life a lot easier on everyone....my FIL isn't exactly the easiest houseguest in the world.
While there over the weekend, JN and I got out to see "Breach" -- major thumbs-up, if that's your kind of movie.
And I do have the Oscars this weekend -- my one ridiculous obsession JN patiently tolerates.
I'll be stocking up on the crapola to eat for Sunday....needless to say, my diet's suffering these days, but not as badly as years past.
I guess that's something to hang my hat on.
I'll try to be in here more regularly, and I'll really try to put on a happy face.
How long until Cubs' opening day??
According to my countdown clock (yes, I made an online clock to watch), it's 1 month, 9 days and 47 minutes....
*sigh*
First, the good -- school was cancelled today! It's so damn cold, it was even too cold for the Eskimos who run the school system....incredible! I appreciated those extra couple hours of sleep, believe me.
The bad -- it's so damn cold!! Right now it's -4, with wind chills in the -30 range....when it's this cold out, the dog refuses to go outside. While I can't really blame her, I'm sick of cleaning up after her -- which means me forcing her outside, while I go along. Not my idea of a good time.
And the ugly -- what else? My Bears. Dammit. Here are my overall impressions, before all the talking heads sway my opinions:
- Rex was awful. Just awful. At times it wasn't his fault -- his line didn't give him enough time, and the play calls were sometimes pathetic (especially that drive with 5:00 left in the game), but at the times he needed to go deep and stretch the defense, he was woefully off. It could have been the wet ball, but that didn't seem to bother Peyton.
- Losing Benson was catastrophic. When the Bears do well, they balance the running plays between Benson and Jones, and having Benson go down early was bad news. Too much Jones is not a good thing.
- That drive at the end of the game was ridiculous. With no timeouts, the clock running, you need two touchdowns, WHY would you throw a 5-yard pass over the middle?? Was that Rex's decision, or Ron Turner's? Either way, that about made me come outta my skin, I was so pissed. THROW IT DEEP -- what have you got to lose at that point?
- The defense was at times flat, and couldn't cover the short, underneath stuff. They kept covering deep, which didn't make any sense to me -- Peyton clearly wasn't going deep in that rain. If they'd moved those deep guys up and covered the middle better (and not stayed in zone so DAMN MUCH), they could have shut down the Colts' ability to get 5-10 yards each play. Where was Ron Rivera there? Already talking to Jerry Jones?
- The party at JN's friend's house was fun. I only got annoyed a couple times, and was able to see just about everything -- we missed the last 2 hours of pregame which I wasn't thrilled about, but the food was good, and the chit-chat was minimal. The best part was when Devin Hester went the distance to open the game -- we were all screaming and hugging like maniacs! I almost passed out, seriously.
- The commercials were good, overall. The one that really stood out to me was the Robert Goulet one -- laugh out loud funny, period. There were a couple creepy ones, which was unusual, and most were just mildly entertaining. But they didn't disappoint.
- Prince was UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!! He was even better than I thought he'd be, as I was afraid he'd do all new shit -- but there was plenty of Purple Rain stuff, and even a couple covers from the Foo Fighters (!) and Jimmy Hendrix. He looked great, he sounded great, and the show was kick ass....like Kathy Griffin says, it delivered like Dominos!!
- If the Bears had to lose, I'm glad they lost to Tony Dungy and the Colts....they're a classy team run by a classy guy, and that does take some of the sting out of it.
- I loved hearing Lovie say right away in the post game this is just another step closer to where they wanna be, and that next year they'll be ready. It makes me feel good to know he's not all down in the dumps, lamenting the loss....he's already looking at how to do it better next year. That just kicks ass.
So there you have it, my worthless Super Bowl wrap-up.
The ride over the last 2 weeks has been awesome, and it was all worth it.
What's gonna piss me off now is hearing all the damn Packers fans around here talking about how the Bears "still suck," and hearing all the talking heads patting themselves on the back and saying "I told you so" about Rex and the outcome of the game.
If nothing else, I was hoping the Bears would at least cover the spread, but they didn't.
That sucks.
How long until pitchers and catchers report??
I'm going *schizoid,* just waiting for tomorrow to get here.
The two weeks leading up to the game seems to be almost as much fun as the game itself.
Almost.
I just hope they make a good showing....the Colts scare me, and I think the Bears CAN win, I'm just not sure they WILL.
But HOO-DOGGIES, is the anticipation fun!
How cool would it be if this was the beginning of a "dynasty" of sorts -- we could do this every year!
Okay, I can't get ahead of myself....we gotta win tomorrow first.
The Super Bowl Dilemma seems to have finally reached a peaceful conclusion, somehow.
As late as yesterday afternoon, JN was still trying to talk me into bringing SJ along to the party.
It never got heated, but I wasn't sure how it would end up, since he had to go before we got it resolved.
But I heard him telling SJ last night that he can watch the game up in our bedroom while we're gone, so somehow he decided on his own SJ staying here was okay.
No idea how, but I'm good with that.
He wants to get to the party earlier than I thought -- 2 hours before kickoff! -- so we're gonna wind up paying the sitter more than I'd like, but I can deal with that.
So I'm looking forward to it.
Will there be a point during the party when I miss something and it ticks me off a bit?
Almost guaranteed.
But I'll be Tivoing everything here, so I may spend a good chuck of Monday rewatching everything.
I'm okay with that.
I can almost taste that Chicago food now....
And I thought it was cold the other day!
The high for today is 5, with a steady 20 mph gale, keeping the wind chill WAY below zero.
And that ain't even the worst....tomorrow, the high -- again, the HIGH -- is supposed to be -4.
Without a 15 mph wind.
HOLY SHIT!!
We will friggin FREEZE going back and forth to the party, but if the Bears win, we may not feel it on the way home!
At least, I'm hoping so....
The high for Monday is expected to be 1 *without* a 15-mph wind chill (I wonder if I can even hope for school to be closed?), but we should have the low teens for highs after that.
I'm sorry, but when 14 looks warm, that's just downright wrong.
Why do we live here again?
Anyway, I'm gonna Super Bowl Shuffle on outta here....let's hope as of tomorrow night, we can officially CROWN THEIR ASS!!
(Thank you, thank you, Denny Green....)
BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS,
MAKE EVERY PLAY CLEAR THE WAY TO VICTORY,
BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS,
PUT UP A FIGHT WITH A MIGHT SO FEARLESSLY.
WE'LL NEVER FORGET THE WAY YOU THRILLED THE NATION,
WITH YOUR 'T' FORMATION.
BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS,
AND LET 'EM KNOW WHY YOU'RE WEARING THE CROWN,
YOU'RE THE PRIDE AND JOY OF ILLINOIS,
CHICAGO BEARS, BEAR DOWN!!
The Super Bowl Dilemma, which I thought was behind us, now has a new chapter.
JN has now decided that our son SJ should come to his friend's party along with us.
As I knew would happen, SJ is bummed to find out we won't be home to watch the Super Bowl with him, so this is JN's way of making himself feel better.
This idea SUCKS for two reasons: 1) the other two boys will feel bad about not coming along -- especially JM; and 2) I don't want ANY of my kids there! If we're going to a damn party, then I wanna let the obscenities fly and not feel like he's watching me every time I have a beer.
Not only does JN disagree with me, he got pissed off immediately and refused to discuss it.
Now I know he had a shitty day at work yesterday -- he even warned me not to "pick a fight" with him when he got home because he was in such a bad mood. So maybe it wasn't a bad thing that he refused to talk about it, was quiet the rest of the night and went to bed in a seemingly pissy mood.
BUT, this issue is now hanging out there, and once again, I'M the unreasonable one for thinking this is a bad idea.
I'd really like to put my foot down on this -- I feel like I'm conceding to him even going to this damn party, so I would think it's reasonable he concede to me here.
But you and I both know he won't see it that way.
So this Sunday -- with my Bears actually IN the Super Bowl -- could wind up sucking even more than I previously thought.
Unbelievable.
Part of me thinks he's just being argumentative, but I certainly could never SAY that.
I'll probably wind up giving in AGAIN....
Why would that surprise me?
I'm finding myself wishing the Bears weren't in the Super Bowl, because if they weren't, I wouldn't care NEARLY as much.
That's just fucked up.
Again, I'll keep you posted.
On a lighter note, I've got Girls Night Out again tonight (the third Thursday in row!), which should be fun.
We're just doing dinner this time, and it looks like it's just gonna be the 4 of us, which I'm looking forward to. The bigger the group, the less fun it is.
After all that bitching about JN, it is awesome he's letting me go out again -- though of course, he looks at it as he's "FINALLY getting his 'antisocial' wife outta the house," which he considers to be a major triumph on his part.
WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
Even when he's doing something awesome for me, he's gotta sour the taste in my mouth by spinning me in an unflattering light!
I'll stop complaining now....
Only 3 more days until my Bears start Super Bowl Shufflin' all over the Colts!!!!!!
Hopefully I'll be able to watch most of it and maybe even enjoy myself a bit as well.
If I'm lucky.
Anyone that knows me knows I am anti-winter and anti-cold weather in general.
When JN and I got married, I told him I'd move anywhere with him, as long as he was happy with work....anywhere, that is, except for north of Chicago.
I believe the direct quote I said to him was, "Don't even ask me to, because I won't go."
So where did we go?
Central Wisconsin.
Once again, I need to learn never to say never.
The wind chill here today is -5, and we've had a mild winter so far....it's been much worse.
But I get SO FRIGGIN COLD.
It's like I never really get warm until late April rolls around.
Dammit.
Still looking for a sitter for Sunday -- it's entirely possible we won't be able to find one, which will make this whole drama easier.
But I'm sure we'll end up going, so I'm just getting used to the idea.
Still haven't gotten over the sting of JN calling me a drag, but as time goes by, I'll forget about it....
As usual.
JN has a hell day at work today, so I'll go easy on him.
We've been wearing Bears stuff every day this week, which has been fun -- I Tivo'ed all the Bears media day stuff yesterday and watched it last night.
SWEEET!!
I'm getting so torqued up about Sunday already, spending it at his friend's house and missing half the game may not be the end of the world.
Hopefully.
At least we're ordering some good Chicago food -- Chicago dogs from Portillo's and a stuffed cheese pizza from Giordano's.
(Insert Homer Simpson drooling sound here....)
It's costing an arm and a leg, but it will taste wickedly awesome.
Have you got some good plans for this weekend?
GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Super Bowl Dilemma cranked up to high gear.
Yep, I should have known better.
After saying it was fine that we stay here a couple days ago, last night JN did another 180 and decided to dig his heels in, once again lobbying to go watch the Super Bowl at his coworkers'.
Apparently, JN tried to use the "we're not sure we can get a sitter" out with his buddy, to which his buddy said -- you guessed it -- just bring the kids along!
And when I was less-than-thrilled at that prospect, JN looked at me as if *I* was crazy.
I gave him my best arguments for staying here for the game -- arguments that I think, deep down, he agrees with.
But he's dead-set on going, and is now treating me like a stick in the mud for not wanting to go.
He decided to launch into a whole "you never wanna go anywhere" thing (which is patently FALSE -- I swear he makes this shit up), turning this disagreement into a blanket indictment on aspects of my character in general, capping it all off by telling me I can be a "drag."
Nice.
Even when I've thought he was being a "drag," I would *never* say that to him.
I know how shitty that makes a person feel -- especially the one you're supposed to love and care about hurting their feelings.
But again with him, it's more important that he "win" the argument than spare my feelings.
After that wonderful moment, I called him on it and told him he was being unfair, and then I got met with the patent "oh settle down and stop making this such a big deal" thing.
I wonder how he would feel if I *ever* talked to him the way he's talked to me on several occasions over our 15 years together.
So what did I do?
Give in, of course.
So, I'm looking for a sitter for Sunday -- great, huh?
I should have known I'd be giving in eventually.
I should have just given in initially, so I could have been spared the bonus insult I got while trying to calmly discuss the whole thing.
He's not an asshole, but he sure is good at playing one sometimes!
So, yeah....Super Bowl Sunday is not gonna be what I wanted.
And I got insulted to boot.
Very nice.
So, I'm not in a great frame of mind today....I hope to be all sunshine and roses tomorrow.
Have a day!
Just lots and lots of crapola to deal with the last few days, and I haven't even been able to get on the computer for anything. I hate feeling like I'm trying to get caught up!
Some loose ends to tie up....
We finally got our money stuff figured out (again) -- hopefully for the last time. It is an incredible load off, and I'm SO relieved....let's hope we're not standing with our backs against the wall again in 6 months. We won't be able to pull back as much as I'd like -- we just found out JN's high school reunion is this August, JN's dad's retirement dinner is in May (along with a retirement GIFT, of course), and my sister is planning a family vacation at the cabin this July.
If we're still ahead of the game next year at this time, I'll be fairly amazed.
The Super Bowl Party Dilemma is solved (I think). For some reason, JN just agreed to stay home -- no idea why. I wanna take him at face value and believe that he either a) agrees with my assessment of things; or b) gave in because going to his coworker's wasn't that important to him after all. But I find myself wondering if a) he's doing this to "prove a point" that he *does* give in to me on things (a point which he'll whip out later when it's convenient for his argument); or b) he's gonna make me feel guilty on Sunday (and therefore, miserable for getting my way -- in essence, "punishing" me for "winning"). Because of this internal tug-of-war, I find myself wondering if a) I've really got him figured out, finally; or b) if I'm just being a suspicious, paranoid bitch for even thinking such things.
The jury is still out there.
JN is climbing back on the "getting healthy" wagon with me again, which should make things easier for me in general. Along with that, he went out and bought a digital scale, which put me at 6 pounds less than the other one did! YES!!!
Whether it's accurate or not, I don't give a shit....I'm good with thinking I'm 6 pounds less than I thought I was.
We may be having another furniture conflict soon....and this one is of my own doing. (WHA??) In the past, we've kicked around the idea of getting a futon/sleeper sofa in the computer room and getting rid of the bed in here now (no one ever comes to stay with us anymore, and it takes up the whole room). Since we've got a little extra money right now, I started the process of looking/thinking about doing it, and got JN all fired up about it. The futons we've found are gonna range around $250-$300, and that's for a nice, new one. The problem is, they don't look that durable to me....if we're gonna spend the money, I want something the boys can jump on every day for years and it's still be able to be slept on. So I'm thinking the way to go now is to get a nice, used sleeper sofa -- in the midst of the Couch Crisis, I found one for about $250 that looked really nice and would probably hold up better over time. JN, of course, is completely opposed and wants a new futon.
Where will this one go? No clue.
Enough rambling....my Bears are in the frigging Super Bowl on Sunday!!
I'm jacked up already -- it's gonna be a long week.
Okay, so as I alluded to the other day, yes, we have a Super Bowl dilemma....only we could have a crisis over something so silly.The Super Bowl is always a Big Deal in our house -- we're all football fanatics, and we love getting into the whole spectacle and everything that goes with it.
Usually, JN has to work, so that means the boys and I enjoy it at home -- we get lots of junk food, park ourselves in front of the TV, and veg the whole day. Last year, JN was home, and we had a great time all together at our house.
I actually REALLY enjoy that....I get as much or as little of whatever food I want, I'm not distracted/bothered by anything (the boys know they either sit and watch or go play elsewhere!), and I'm in my comfort zone.
My TV, my remote, my sweats, my couch.
Well now that our Bears are actually in it, JN's Bear-fan coworker has decided to throw a Super Bowl party at his house, and JN wants to go (since he's off work again).
I'm not OPPOSED to going, but I see several drawbacks to going:
- JN's coworker and fiance have no kids....if kids were invited, that would be one thing, but this is a grown-up party, which means either A) we spend money we don't have on a sitter for who knows how long and bum the boys out we aren't watching the game with them (especially SJ, who really gets into it); or B) we bring the kids and I spend all day trying to keep them out of everything in a house with new furniture, decorations and NO toys. Both options suck.
- There will be a bunch of people there -- some of whom we know, some of whom we don't. We'll be forced to be social -- chit-chatting, being nice, etc. Blah. Plus, a bunch of people means sharing seats/space around the TV/TVs....will we get a spot where we can even see well? Will people talk during the commercials (which I hate), or worse, the game?? And there's always some asshole in every crowd when watching football who has to discuss every play called, every bad play made, every mistake, etc. I CAN'T STAND THESE GUYS, and there will almost assuredly be at least one there.
- It's the BEARS and PRINCE at halftime -- this is possibly the greatest Super Bowl EVER!! I don't wanna piss it away playing nice at someone's house full of people who I don't wanna get to know for fear of losing track of the game.
- We WILL miss key plays, key commentary, and most of the commercials -- that's how it works at parties, period. Not cool.
Despite all this, that's where JN wants to go.
To complicate things, my mom called the other night and invited us over there for the Super Bowl....she wants to have me down for a belated birthday thing, and she thought the Super Bowl would be fun (she's a big Bears fan too).
I see no real problem with this plan -- it would just be us, so no throngs of people. And they would be focused on the game and the commercials -- while there would be minimal chit-chat, it should be manageable. We've gotta head her way anyway, so we're not spending any extra money going there (we should be able to bring the dog with us), and she'll buy/make all the food!
While staying at home would still be my first choice, Mom's is doable to me....we get the whole "Super Bowl party" thing without all the Super Bowl party bullshit.
And JN's reaction?
No way.
He said NO WAY to going to my mom's, yet is pushing to go to his coworker's.
This makes no sense to me.
Any drawback there is to Mom's is TENFOLD at his coworker's.
I think he's saying this for two reasons:
- He feels as though he *should* go to his coworker's party, since he probably already gave him the idea we're going (which wouldn't surprise me) and we're such big Bears fans -- hard to come by in this area.
- He wants his way, plain and simple -- my way and my family sucks, his way and his friends rule. Or something along those lines.
I suggested I could go to Mom's and he could go to the coworker's, which I knew would be met with disgust (and I don't really like anyway, since I wanna watch our Bears with him). But it would solve the problem.
So what will we do? No clue.
I'll probably give in (as usual) and go to his friend's, but I'll be wishing I was at home in my sweats, screaming at the TV with all my guys, eating my pizza rolls....
I'll keep you posted.
THEY DID IT!!!
I can't believe they actually did it!!!
MY BEARS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!
And not only did they pull it off, they KILLED the Saints, 39-14.
Holy crap!
I gotta confess, I wasn't sure they were even gonna be in the game, much less win -- everyone and their cousin took the Saints, and I wasn't real optimistic.
Wow, did they prove the whole damn world wrong.
I LOVE IT!!
They're gonna face the Colts, which bums me out a bit -- I've been waiting years for Peyton and Dungy to get to The Big Game so I could pull for them. They finally make it, and I've gotta pull HARD against them!
But I'm good with that....2 weeks from now, it'll be downright EASY to have venom towards them.
When the Bears last made it to the Super Bowl, it was Jan. 1986....I was newly 16, and my life was not in a good place in general.
I'm gonna enjoy every minute of this ride so much more now than I did then.
WOOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My birthday weekend was wonderful....I ate lots and lots of Chinese food and other junk, laid around, watched a lot of sports, and did nothing in general (with no guilt).
I ask you, does it get any better than that??
I'm getting back on the healthy food train this week after all the insanity of last week, and expected to be bummed after getting on the scale this morning.
I got the second biggest shock of the weekend when I saw I'd actually LOST a pound!!
How the hell did THAT happen??
No clue, but I don't care, I'm good with that.
Hopefully after a week of being good and working hard, I'll see the same results.....
Otherwise, it's Chinese and junk food all day, every day!
WOOO HOOOO again!!
I'm just gonna go do the Super Bowl Shuffle now, thank you....
Last night was fun with the girls, but not wild and crazy fun -- everyone seemed kinda blah.
But we saw "Dreamgirls," which was good, but LONG -- mind you, it was only a 2-hour movie, but it sure felt longer.
Afterwards we went to Applebees for some food and drink, which was nice.
I overdid it at the movie with just a small popcorn (HOLY popcorn, Batman!), so I was good at Applebees -- a grilled chicken sandwich off their light menu, with pineapple slices on the side and a great big margarita. YESSS!!
All in all, not exciting, but a nice way to spend the night.
I hit the big 3-7 today (officially at 2:33 pm), and I seriously, no bullshit whatsoever, feel exactly the same as I did when I turned 27.
How fucked up is that?
I keep getting older, but I feel the same....I hope my mind catches up to my body at some point.
I mean it's good to feel young and all, but that won't be a good thing once I need to be sent to the nursing home and I'm still telling everyone I can take care of myself.
I'm SO looking forward to a weekend of nothing -- I'll be catching up on sleep and eating too much crap.
It all starts today, as JN and the boys (they have a half day) are taking me to Red Lobster for lunch, and I'm already contemplating just HOW MUCH Chinese I'm gonna order tonight.
On a weird side not, I had an allergic reaction to something I ate last night.
Before I went to bed, I noticed I was really itchy and discovered red bumps on my arms, belly and back.
I figured the worst of it was over, so I went to bed.
I woke up around 4 this morning with a feeling like someone was squeezing my chest -- I couldn't take a deep breath at all.
I got up right away and took some Benadryl, which didn't kick in for almost half an hour.
I just laid there, trying not to get too freaked out and get back to sleep.
Needless to say, I'm really dragging today, and if it weren't for the boys' half day today, I'd be getting me a nap....oh well.
I can't figure out what it was -- the only thing that makes sense is the portabella mushrooms that were on the sandwich, but even that's weird, since I've had those a hundred times before.
I sure hope it wasn't....I do love me some mushrooms.
Well, here's hoping the next 37 years kick some tall ass! Hitting the Powerball this weekend would be a nice start....
GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going out for Girls' Night Out tonight, and I can't wait!
It feels good, going out like a normal person (you know, "sans" husband and children).
A group of us get together once a month or so, usually on a Thursday night, and we have a great time.
No, there won't be any clubbing....I've already explained I'm not NEARLY hip enough for that.
But we usually do dinner, and sometimes add on a movie or coffee afterwards if we REALLY wanna avoid going home.
Tonight, we're seeing "Dreamgirls" -- NOT my choice, but what the hell. It's a night out, and I have a free pass.
Then we'll have dinner/drinks after. I'm psyched!
Plus, it's really the only thing I'm doing for my birthday (which looms tomorrow), so I'm gonna milk that and hopefully get them to buy me some stuff.
*hehehehehe*
Tomorrow is The Big Day, and I'm looking forward to the weekend....we actually have NOTHING going on.
**SWEEEET!!**
The boys have a half-day of school, so we'll be probably go somewhere cheap for lunch....then it's an obscenely huge pile of Chinese food for dinner, a piece of birthday cake (if I can choke it down at that point), and hopefully capped off by getting laid.
I hope JN's "up" for that....I need my birthday piece of azz.
See, I TOLD you I'd have nothing but nice things to say today!
Well, yet another illness has descended -- this time on me. NOT COOL.
It's just a cold, but enough to make me feel very BLAH, blow up my head like a balloon and keep me from sleeping well.
Plus, I have the added bonus of having JN treat me like I have The Plague.
This morning, he wouldn't let me make him breakfast or lunch for him, out of supposed fear of my germs....yet every morning after I get outta bed he rolls over and sleeps another couple hours on my pillows.
He's getting more germs that way than if we were to kiss, but I guess he thinks it's different?
Whatever.
Hopefully this thing will be gone by my birthday Friday....not that anything special is happening that day, but I just don't wanna feel like shit on my birthday.
'Cause, you know, it's my day.
I wanna taste every drop of that horrendously god-awful pile of Chinese food I'm getting that night.
YESSSS!! (insert Napoleon Dynamite enthusiasm here)
Speaking of JN, I find it amusing when he does things he accuses me of doing.
He likes to call me negative, which I've always found funny -- I'm one of the most positive people I know (all sarcasm aside here), but he'll accuse me of being a "negative person" when once a month or so I bitch about having a bad day or not feeling well.
How often does he bitch about having a bad day or not feeling well?
You guessed it....a couple times A WEEK.
Granted, he works very hard and I'm sure he does feel like shit -- and I WANT him to feel as though he can vent on me, because that's what spouses are SUPPOSED to do for each other.
Yet, have I ever labeled him a "negative person?"
Negative.
A couple weeks ago, he labeled me "inconsiderate," which upset me so much I almost got sick.
All I do is put he and the boys in front of myself -- true, the boys usually trump him, but that's outta necessity, being they're CHILDREN and all.
That outburst came because I forgot to pick up his prescription 2 days in a row....wow, am I inconsiderate or what?
It's impossible for a generally considerate person to make a mistake, right?
PLEASE.
Speaking of being considerate, let's think here....for example, when's the last time he got up to help me bring in groceries?
I might get that a couple times a year....otherwise, he sits in front of the TV and watches me make multiple trips.
I guess that would make HIM inconsiderate, right?
Yet do I jump his shit for it? Call him things that are untrue and hurtful?
Negative again.
He seems to think hurting my feelings is okay, as long as he gets his point across....I go outta my way NOT to hurt his.
Why can't he grant me the same courtesy and give me the same benefit of the doubt?
I guess that makes me a better person than he is, right?
Well, maybe a better spouse, in some ways....
Okay, okay, YES, he's amazingly awesome.
And yes, I'm being bitchy.
But STILL! Shit.
I hate it when he does that.
Gotta go take down the rest of the Xmas stuff....I know he's already pissed at me because that's not done....
I'm sure tomorrow I'll be feeling better and will have nothing but nice things to say!
ROCK!!!!!
It's somewhat amazing they were able to pull that game out.
Did they deserve to win? Not sure. But they did!
Rex looked good -- not great, not mind-blowing, but good. Which is all he needs to be.
The defense, however, is gonna give me fits. I know they have injuries. I know those injuries are to key guys. But COME ON....does that mean the rest of them have to play like shit? SO irritating -- they are so much better than that.
So, the million-dollar question -- are they gonna beat the Saints next week?
I have a feeling if I asked the Magic 8 Ball it would say "signs say no." But I'm not giving up hope....they just may have another miracle wedged up their ass somewhere.
The visit at my dad's was nice. Although it's official -- my dad has become a grumpy, pissy, crotchety old man. He's always had a short temper, but WOW -- he's taking frustration to all new and ugly heights. The man seriously needs to CHILL OUT. But we all got spoiled to death, which led JN to feel guilty we didn't spend more on everyone.
Lemme ask you: Just because my family feels the need to go WAY overboard on presents (perhaps due to guilt over not being closer, or due to trying to one-up each other, or due to trying to show off how much money they have -- not saying they have ulterior motives, but certainly possible....could my family be capable of giving just for the goodness of giving? Magic 8 Ball? ....yeah, that's what I thought), should that make us feel bad because we can't? (It's not that we don't want to, it's that we CAN'T!!) I don't think so, but JN does. Wish I could help him out there -- if there's one thing life with my family has taught me, it's this: Get over it because you can't change it, and LET IT GO.
I should stitch that on a pillow or something....
Yeah, like I have time to do that.
I know NOTHING about being the President of the USA.
I admit that, I know that, I accept that.
STILL....
HOW can this man be that dense?? How can he spend 6 years in office (thanks for that re-election, folks), and not listen to ANYONE who knows what they're talking about??
He knows nothing about the Middle East -- their beliefs, their culture, their way of life. Yet there are lots of people who do (i.e, people who study the Middle East, Middle Easterners THEMSELVES, etc.), and they've all been telling Dubya the same thing: More troops will make the situation WORSE.
PERIOD.
There's no gray area here, no real opinions are being expressed here -- it's common knowledge among those who make their living making sure they know. I know *nothing* about the Middle East, but I think it's wise to listen to those who do....why can't our President do that? Instead, he's got his ears plugged and is standing there singing "la-la-la-la" at the top of his lungs while he doles out policy.
And people wonder why the rest of the world is laughing at us.
Okay, enough politics....don't even get me started.
Got the big weekend staring me in the face -- JN's company party tonight (JN says I get laid after -- YAHOO!!), then we leave for my dad's tomorrow and return Sunday night. I'm tired just thinking about it, but it should be nice, blah blah. We're paying out the nose to keep the dog here after all, which worries me money-wise but give me major relief stress-wise....trying to imagine controlling that dog for hours in the car each way is pain-in-the-ass enough. Throw in the fact that she chews like a MOTHER, and can generally wreak havoc around my stepmother's house with her spas-puppy ways, and I was downright dreading it.
Now I just have to worry about keeping the boys in line (no small feat there).
Here's hoping my family doesn't piss me off.... (too much, that is....)
I'm having one of those BLAH days....you know, those days where you're just tired, unmotivated, don't wanna do ANYTHING. I know everyone has these, whether they work or not (I remember having these days at work too). JUST BLAH. My question is: Does anyone else have those days to the extent that making human social interaction of *any* kind requires real effort? I'm not talking about saying hi to a friend -- you can tell her you're feeling like shit and it's all good. No, I'm talking about smiling at the cashier at WalMart, making small talk with the other moms while picking up the kids from preschool, that kinda stuff. This is stuff we do all day, every day, without a thought -- it's what you do when you're a friendly, normal, fairly well-adjusted member of society. But when I have one of these days (which doesn't happen often), it's almost PAINFUL for me to force a smile or a "hello" to someone. Does this signal some sort of defect in my psychological wiring? Am I really a sociopath who's been pretending to be a nice person all these years -- and is the day coming when I cross over to the other side and never come back? Or am I just having a DAY? Hmmm....
On another note, how SWEET was it to watch Florida kick Ohio State's ass last night?? Not that I'm a Florida fan, by any stretch -- I hate that damn Gator-head-clap-thing they do. But I love seeing the underdog just swoop in and shock the hell outta everyone....and watching their coach cheering with the fans on the sidelines while the game was still going was so cool. THAT'S why we watch the games.
I hope this blah-ness goes away by the time JN's company Xmas party rolls around on Thursday -- gotta really make nice with everyone there. UGH....at this moment, just thinking about doing that all night makes me wanna put my head down for a while.
I guess things are kinda back to normal at this point -- we're getting back into the school routine -- but we've still got enough "extra" going on to screw things up. We hosted JN's staff party at our house Sat. night, and while everything leading up to it was HELL, the party was good. I know if I stayed on top of stuff better all the time, it wouldn't be as much of a last-minute nightmare for these things, but hey, I'm doing better than I was. Bite me. We've also got his company party this Thursday, and then we head outta town to see my dad this weekend. No rest for the wicked....things should calm down after that.
The couch saga has reached its conclusion, but not after a couple strange turns. The day after INSISTING we get a new couch NOW (and convincing me to do it despite my explanations of how SCREWED we are money-wise), JN suddenly decided we shouldn't get one. I'm literally walking out the door to go check out a couple, and he says forget it -- no explanation, just forget it. I pressed him as to why the sudden 180, and he just kept saying, "We can't afford it." (Very true, but keep in mind I said that same thing multiple times leading up to that, which he'd previously disagreed with/ignored.) No reason was ever given for the abrupt change in attitude -- he was even looking at me like *I* was crazy for repeatedly questioning why not. If I know anything about the man I've been with for almost 15 years now, it's that he doesn't change his mind like that about anything once it's made up -- unless either he had an outta-the-blue schizophrenic episode, or something happened that he didn't wanna tell me about (plus he seemed pissy at me too). WHATEVER -- if he's gonna play those games, there ain't nothing I can do about it but deal. So then I go out looking for couches anyway, and find a couple good ones at resale shops, and convince him to just go look at them....he goes, finds one he likes, and we buy the damn thing. So the good news is we have a new couch we both like a lot, we got the nasty broken one outta the basement (moved our old one down there for the boys), and spent only $250 total....the bad news is we can't get each other presents for birthdays or anniversaries this year, and I have the feeeling he's hiding something from me that pissed him off. As usual, it's gotta be good and bad for us -- can't be just good.
The scale stayed the same this morning as last week, which I guess is fine -- I was BAD the last couple days with all that party crap in the house. But still -- shit. Gotta do well this week, so I can maintain through the upcoming festivities.
Happy Monday! Yeah right.
Today was the boys' first day back at school, and WOW did that 6:30 alarm go off early! Yeah, I know, working people don't get any breaks, they have to wake up every day forever at the same time, working people rule and I drool -- I GET IT. Doesn't mean this morning was any easier....though I must admit I am *sorta* looking forward to getting back into a routine. (Just sorta.)
In the midst of our serious money issues, JN decided we need a new couch, and NOW. He claims our couch is the cause of his back problems, and he's not completely wrong there -- our couch is crap, and I know we need a new one at some point. But he also claims our bed is the cause of his back issues, and we sure can't afford to get both. As it is, he went out a couple days ago and bought a new phone system we couldn't afford -- but I told him if he took that back, and we made this couch each other's birthday presents AND anniversary presents, we'd make it happen. (We did win $325 in G's football pool, so that's why he says we "have the money" -- he doesn't get how badly we need that money for other crap.) What bothers me most about this whole thing is that we could get a whole houseful of new furniture, and he'd still have back problems....he's carrying around too much weight, and he isn't doing anything about it. He's been given lists of back exercises he can do NOW, even with the extra weight, and he hasn't even tried them. He won't exercise at all, and forget eating right....no matter what I keep in the house, he goes overboard elsewhere. It's hard for me to say anything -- until a couple months ago, I was the Queen of Going Overboard. And part of his issues are my fault, there's no doubt. I just wish he would make an effort, since his health problems are costing us so much money-wise (with his doctor appts. and his 4 daily meds) and making him so miserable. A little diet and exercise, and he wouldn't be needing new furniture!! Okay, enough ranting about JN -- just irks me to no end.
Anyway, I'm feeling good -- got on the scale today and was the same weight as 2 weeks ago, before I drove off Sane Road and headed straight for Crazy Ditch, balls out. ("I can have a little extra, it's the holidays!" -- GOOD GOD.) Just gotta get back on track, which I was able to do yesterday (and hopefully today). Holy shit, one of my New Year's goals (I REFUSE to call them the "R" word) has actually held up for a day! The other one about controlling our money is going down the crapper fast, but hey -- 50% ain't bad, right?
Well, 2007 has gotten off to the same kinda whimper that 2006 ended with....too much to get done around the house, WAY screwed money-wise, dreading going back-to-school (which should probably mean back-to-work for me as well). Does anyone else feel the same kinda letdown as I do after the new year? It probably stems back to placing way too much importance on "a new beginning" and "starting over." It's just another day -- the only difference is I'm gonna be writing the wrong month and year on my checks for a while.
I don't make "resolutions," per se, but I am recommitting myself this year to getting healthier (yes, the same thing I talk about every new year, but I've gotten a good start to it this year with SparkPeople....I'm down 15 pounds in the last 2 months, and 25 down from my heaviest, so I'm optimistic -- only 85 more pounds to go!). (YIKES.) My other goal this year is to get our money in better shape -- no, we won't get outta debt, and no, we're never gonna have a lot (if anything) in savings. But I just wanna get to the point where I don't go into every paycheck in a panic about how we're gonna pay for shit. Doing that for the last 15 years or so has gotten really old.
Some random thoughts:
What's the attraction to pro wrestling? Speaking as someone who CAN appreciate "Cops" and Jerry Springer, I still just don't get it.
Why are the Bears finishing the season so badly? I knew the offense was gonna be up and down -- that's to be expected with Rex trying to get it all figured out. But WHERE has the defense gone?? They started the year as the best ever, and now they can't stop the damn Lions or Buccaneers? COME ON. They're just pissing me off....they're looking like they'll be one-and-done in the playoffs, which is pathetic.
Am I the only female that likes sports? I know I'm not, but the way people talk and the way they market sports, it sure seems like it.
On a related note, am I not supposed to like sex as much JN, and if I do, does that mean there's something wrong with me? I think I like it more than he does, and again, the way people talk, I feel like a freak.
I swear I had more interesting things to say when I was thinking about this last night, but now they escape me....this probably won't be the last time! If I could get my brain screwed on straight, how much easier my life would be....
Happy New Tuesday!
